Our grief Out Loud

On February 15th, 2017, our lives as we knew shifted. Every stage of grief was touched, but acceptance was the true tough pill to swallow. After 2 long months in ICU, watching the fear in my moms eyes, Michael D. Kaigler Sr. was gone. The family trips, laughs, tears, and countless meals shared were all now just memories, memories I pray never fade. Although my 8 year old brother didn't shed a tear at the time, my heart screamed loudest for him. I lost a irreplaceable bonus dad, but he lost his father.

A year later, my brother began to act out in school, and counseling wasn't as effective as we hoped. I decided to challenge his grief in other ways. I gave him different creative expressive task to help him explore his thoughts and feelings. We came to the conclusion, grief was the elephant in the room and the only feeling that mattered was, "I miss Dad". As my brother and I were driving home from church one day, I decided to ask him what makes him feel comforted, and we could start by doing just that.

Me: If you could do anything in the world to make you feel happy, what would it be? 

Him: (without hesitation) " I would just want to help people, give back, help people that can't really help themselves you know" 

That moment was confirmation, and I knew our father left us something special. In our search to find programs that support children who have experienced significant loss, we discovered how few there were. Parent loss in childhood has the ability to impact you on so many levels, as I've observed first hand, but I believe finding ways to express that energy, redirect it into something amazing is so much more impactful. It was with this in mind TRP was created.

The Recharge Project is a nonprofit organization formed to provide longterm therapeutic support to children who have experienced the loss a parent or primary caregiver. The point of the organization is not to fix loss, but rather to bring school aged children together who might be isolating themselves or their feelings, shine positive light on their healing journey and build meaningful relationships! I believe kids who grieve the loss of a parent deserve a special kind of love, and we are here for it. It is my biggest hope that my brother never feels alone his journey, and neither should others.

Portia Effinger 

Certified Grief Educator

Founder | Program Director